“I didn’t have expectations for this,” she said this morning as we awoke to a world with no electricity.
She’s eight and a planner and a world with sudden change sometimes leaves her feeling powerless…
“It’s good practice for life,” I told her.
“Good practice for when life hands you circumstance’s you simply cannot change.”
Circumstances you’d never choose for yourself.
“We’re going to have to use our imaginations today,” I said excitedly through gritted teeth.
Because I know as sure as I’m standing here, that by noon, I could be white knuckling this armchair, trying to keep from running through the quad in my birthday suit.
It is now evening and the good news is, we’re making it! The even better news is, we like it!
What’s wrong with a snow day (or four) once in a while? Who said life with technology is a better life?
Now before you go rolling your eyes — NO. I’m not living the high life right now. I’m still one of the 22,000 without power. I’m still sitting in the pitch black, typing and praying my battery will last at least through the editing phase.
Our celebratory weekend trip was cancelled and the tree sitting directly beside my house has severed because of the ice. My fireplace hasn’t been used since before Sam was born. So — we have no heat except for a little gas wall heater that seems to be the equivalent of Jesus feeding the five thousand.
I’m not sure how it’s feeding this entire house heat, but it is…
Earlier today, I stared out the window, surveying the beautiful, white scene. It was glorious really; having my senses ignited by sounds I don’t normally hear and sights I don’t normally see.
And It came to me; a power outage doesn’t mean you’re ever truly without power…
Normally, bustling engines drown out the sound of icicles dripping along my walkway and Disney + typically dilutes the ticking-clock, tucked away just across the room.
The sound of one-breath-in, one-breath-out, has me appreciating that I can actually breath on my own and the soft, plush blanket laid gently over my lap has me grateful for the finer, warmer things in life.
Outside these snow-clung windowpanes lies a world frozen.
The snow…it’s like a beautiful, light-weight coat, placed delicately on the trees.
But the ice…it’s a cruel task master — adding weight to the already bent and broken.
These bent and broken tree limbs look so much like the bent and broken humans I’ve encountered this past year… truth is, winter was already happening, before winter even came.
But the winter is necessary and the quiet is needed. And the ones who don’t know so, are the one’s missing it all.
There are thoughts to be thought and writings to be written. And while we look for hidden words in our puzzles and searches, we’re finding hidden remnants of life in times past.
We’re finding things bent, can actually be remolded and we’re finding things broken, can actually be remade.
And the thing about ice, is that it will preserve. And the thing about hardship, is that it will sustain.
And despite the power outage, we will be ok. And despite the plan change, we will still be celebrating. And regardless of this year, like the trees, we’ll emerge.
She’s eight and she’s a planner and a world with sudden change leaves her powerless no more.
3 thoughts on “A Powerless State…Literally and Figuratively”
I love reading your blog! I get excited when I see it in my email, because your words are power! Thank you for your blog! I sincerely hope you know how wonderful your writings are, and how they speak to all of us!
I work for AEL as the courier supervisor. I knew your incredible hardworking husband! We speak of him often here, since he was a go getter, and could sell like no one else! We miss him, and I know you miss him as well! I pray your precious children are doing well, and your heart is mending each day!
Thank you for sharing your heart!
Karen—you have NO idea how “powerful” your words are to me! I have struggled on so many levels to finally reach a place where I could write without completely breaking. However, I’ve entered a new season and I’m beginning to write more and more!
Also—it does my heart so much good to hear you say those beautiful things about Chad! He was such a go-getter and he absolutely loved his work! You guys were family to him and I know if he had it to do over, he would have stayed with AEL till the very last!
God bless you, your family and all the AEL families! Please share this blog with them too! They can subscribe via email and receive updates like you. There’s also a video at the bottom of the blog with a video about Chad’s journey with ALS. I know you would all love to see it.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful message, your gift of putting your thoughts in written words is such a blessing for many.